WATCH: Started screaming with joy when told she was to become an adoptive mother
In August of last year, Fabrizio and Feliciann brought back Aman with them from India. Today the boy is 16 months old.
“We always liked the idea of adoption. We like the idea of a multicultural family. We wanted to become parents, and he obviously needed a family,” Feliciann stated.
In Malta they followed the course, verifications were carried out, and they were approved by the authorities as being suitable for adoption purposes. They applied to adopt a boy or girl up to the age of two years. Regarding their country of choice, they had immediately decided on India.
“We saw that the process for India was very well structured. Even the timeline was not overly long. In fact, in our case it only took one year.”
During this process, they moved step by step on the guidelines of the Aġenzija Tama, which they described as being of immense help. “You receive approval from India, then the waiting time starts, until you receive a telephone call and are informed that they have a boy, or girl, who is a match.”
“They called me about two months later, and I started screaming with joy. It was very emotional,” Feliciann explained, adding that they also send a photograph, video, medical report and case file.
Asked whether the couple can rest assured about the child’s good state of health, Feliciann said that “basically, one cannot proceed without the approval of Mater Dei. One has to take the information to one’s doctor and also to the head of paediatrics at Mater Dei.”
With this information in hand, Feliciann and Fabrizio decided to go ahead. They went to India at the beginning of July, and were asked to attend a Court sitting which approved them as adoptive parents for Aman. Fabrizio recounts that it was an emotional moment for them when they entered the orphanage waiting to see the boy they were going to adopt.
“The whole trip to India took about 15 hours. We arrived at the hotel and immediately left by taxi. A new environment, a calm moment, and you see him coming in. It was a particular moment, difficult to forget, and this was followed by the moment when we took him to the hotel. We arrived. He is now ours. We are responsible for him”.
“It was like a dream,” Feliciann recalls. “You would have been thinking about it for a long time. You will have accumulated several emotions, thinking about what he would look like. It is difficult to explain this emotion. It is literally like a dream. Just beautiful.”
At the Government orphanage which had been Aman’s home, the couple noted that what other adoptive couples had told them was true: that although the children did not have individual attention, they had much love from the carers.
“This makes a great difference to their development. As you can see, the child is happy. This is how we found him. There were no elements of trauma at the institute.”
We asked Fabrizio and Feliciann about the preoccupation of some parents as to whether the adopted children would get used to their new environment, and whether they would accept them as their new parents. They replied on the basis of five months with Aman as part of their lives.
“Aman immediately bonded with us. The same with our families. He is much loved. We are crazy about him. And likewise, he loves us as well. This is one point I would like to make, as there may be couples who worry about bonding because the boy or girl are not the natural offspring. There may be such thoughts. I can speak from our experience and that of others. The issue of bonding never arose. This is what you have to keep in mind. The children want parents. And they know they lack this. And they will also realise there are a couple who love them. And the bonding is instataneous.”
Asked whether she felt this bonding even in the first days, Feliciann stated that “perhaps the first few days, the first fortnight, are the mostchallengingg, as it is like two persons learning to know each other .But you get used to it, and bonding starts to form.”
Feiciann confirms that Aman is getting on well in Malta and with the rest of the famiy. “He really likes Maltese food. He loves being with his cousins. The grandparents dote on him. We had no problem. None at all.”
ARA: Jaqsmu ma’ kulħadd il-vjaġġ li għamilhom ġenituri